The Faded Firefly

2008-04-23T01:59:00.001-07:00

Onion 4/21-4/23

rolled in my cocoon

all the hats i've worn in my life float around
transparent layers of skin getting thicker
my lips brush against the nape of his neck
offering a closed-mouth smile that i can't see but i can feel
like the sunrays warming his hair in this precious moment
it's only mine to take
fleeting safety and comfort
i close my eyes

...i'm so cold
sticking my arm out of the blankets
to slam my hand down on the alarm clock
"no."
Sanguis minimus, Corpus animus
damn fucking bill collectors
---

I went to the Bay Area a few weeks ago. I can't believe I'm saying it was a few weeks ago. It kind of feels like yesterday...because since then I've been so busy with absolute craziness in my life...

Atleast now I can say I've driven back and forth the Bay Bridge, hung out in a rehearsal space in Oakland at 2am, survived driving up Lombard Street (I didn't drive up it though...I made Eddie do it), climbed a tree in Concord, CA (which means i've climbed trees in two different cities called Concord), been part of the reason a show got shut down (terrible feeling in this case...), been "VIP" at the same location as Jeffree Star twice (not sure if that's an achievement or not..haha), been homeless for a week and rented/loaded/unloaded a moving truck twice in a week, had the flu twice in one year....it's been a whirlwind of craziness.

I'm thankful I'm getting a break this weekend..sorta...I'll be busy seeing people on the right coast! And I'm pretty excited.

Here are some pics:
En Route on the Van to Santa Cruz...scary drive...

SoCal invading Berkeley

"Deer in Headlights" in Santa Cruz

Bamboozling...with no booze (this was actually quite a cool concert experience)

Sadly I am moving out of my office, but oh well. The economy is crap right now...so instead I have my own place to call home now, so I think that is probably better...

2008-03-12T23:22:00.000-07:00

Been Spending a bit of time getting my office setup...not much done yet, but I had my first lesson in it last week and I have to say it was nice and I love having a space to practice without interruption.

The closest I will ever get to Stonehenge (Harbor House Cafe 3/10)

3/11-spend an evening or two with Jerry and you're likely to have all sorts of interesting adventures...like awesome carousel rides (and plenty of rock band until your eyes feel like they will bleed)!

I complained about a lot this past month, but I'm quickly snapping back into me. Satisfied with myself and my amazing friends and my life. I'm moving in like two weeks to a new house and I'll finally have my own bathroom again and that will be good.

I have a photoshoot tomorrow and a tentative one this weekend too. excellent.

2008-02-09T15:25:00.000-08:00

1/30/2003- Double Edged Sword

every moment is death and birth
every moment is worthless and utopic
every moment is worthwhile and painful

2008-01-23T12:04:00.001-08:00

1/08: Rock Band!
I realized, after trying Meg's glasses on, that I am in desperate need of some glasses. CRAP!

With Grant & John. We are awesome, except I'm terrible at singing Metallica! haha

This game is pretty much my favorite thing ever and I wish I had the money to get it. But instead, I'm investing in a nice set of real v-drums soon. I've always wanted to learn and I figure now's as good of a time as any!

1/22/08: All Shall Perish @ The Whiskey A Go Go!

I can never get good photos of shows I go to at the Whiskey, the lighting is too shitty, but eh!

With lovely ladies Yanira & Silver!

These boys never make normal faces. haha. My kinda people!

Eddie! Those pants. Hmm.

2008-01-14T02:02:00.000-08:00

Le Petit Mort

Now you hold the keys
to our little demise
unlock the door

It's been a while since I've had a public "blog" aside from maybeyoushouldsleep.com (which I'm debating getting rid of because I hardly use it, except for holding files).

I think it's time to start reposting in this, probably not much of substance (well, maybe a poem or song here or there, as I seem to be currently in the process of generating a fair amount of both of those), but I'm thinking a photo entries, just like it was before...

2007 was such a good year in my life.

I lived in Huntington Beach and Irvine, two extremely different places. Here's my old room in HB:

I made amazing new friends:

Had excellent, hilarious, amazing times with some of my long-time friends:

Made friends with a fishie in Seattle:

and also, survived wildfires that were basically in my backyard, dressed up as a Fembot for Halloween, got to see Raine Maida sing his solo stuff twice (once for free at the Viper Room), went to too many shows to count, got myself out of debt (for the most part...still have quite a bit to tackle) and so many other amazing things. 2007 is a really hard year to top.

So far, 2008 has not nearly been as good so far, but it's only just started, so maybe it will start getting better soon. I'm moving again, so hopefully that will be a new start....

Until next time.

2006-11-15T12:05:00.000-08:00

Halloween '06: Drinks & Stolen Babies with Matt

My first martini wasn't strong enough so he made one with a lot more alcohol.

Derrrunnnk

Watching family guy when we got back from seeing stolen babies!

2006-10-16T00:19:00.000-07:00

My camera died!!! This is the last self-portrait to survive...completing out my last post...

So....what have I been up to lately? Not too much. I'm broke and working a lot.

I sucked some fla up a straw at the restaurant Grant works at in August.

Me and Meg celebrated the last days of summer by going to Newport Beach for a day..

Me and my friends in Orange celebrated Labor day by.....balancing one foot and looking at pictures on cell phones? I'm not sure.....

This is what Jerry looks like after 6 hours in a car with me...

(We went to Santa Cruz, Oakland & San Francisco all in one NIGHT)

2006-07-14T15:31:00.000-07:00

It was Happy Birrrrthday to Me on June 28. I'm 23. That's old. So we celebrated by doing something I never got to do when I was young....DISNEYLAND!

Have I mentioned how freaking awesome my friends are?

2006-05-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

I've been seeing a lot more of my friends lately. That makes me HAPPY

Me, Ashee & Shellybob @ Sushi in Shrewsbury

Watch out, Megan bites!

Me & Aro. I didn't want my cleavage showing!

See, hear, speak no evil.

Boys and manWOOD

Grant looks like he's on fire.

Smiles are what I liked to see.

2006-05-08T14:06:00.000-07:00

Fare thee well on your journey, POS car.You will......not really be missed.

2006-05-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

http://www.melissadays.com

These are some just for fun shots with my homie Michelle from my shoot last Sunday.

2006-05-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

Old Stone Church West Boylston, MA May 1, 2006

The doors may be closed (or in this case, unhinged), but I have found more spirituality in this place than anywhere else in the world.

The water is low this year.

Hudson Pub Crawl Apr 29,2006
We went to Hudson. For those of you who don't know where that is, its probably better that you don't. I give you a few hints: a brisk half mile walk between some of the pubs, one of the bartenders corrected me on the pronunciation of "Smirnoff" by incorrectly pronouncing it + I spilled someone's beer and was instructed to go grab the rag off the and clean it up myself.

"I danced with her at prom!"

At Options Pub

Bri and Jamie

We tag teamed my first beer cuz I can't chug.

He insisted he was "Shawn Shrewsburyman" the whole night. Also, he does breast implants.

The "suck it" picture that I only got half of at prom.

Youth Group did us well.

Village of Turner's Falls April 30,2006

I don't care what they say about it being the lost towns of Route 2. It's freaking beautiful out here, and I'd drive out even if I weren't excited about the photoshoot.

I'm assuming this is a papermill. We had to drive down "papermill road." Good thing there were NO street signs at all.

Me and Michelle got lost in another village and were told by the local video clerk that he "never leaves this town." We were afraid we may never get out either.

Laguna Beach April 26, 2006

My sister brought these ridiculous sunglasses with her. They are actually kind of fun.

Issanna and Mike got in a fight! hehe!

My sister is probably laughing at me because I was absolutely terrified of driving down the steepest street I have ever seen in Laguna.

Target Huntington Beach April 21, 2006

I like the artsy angles.

I didn't fall on her! Amazing.

2006-04-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

My sister is visiting from MA....

I had a party last Saturday.People were supposed to wear black and white. Instead, I should have called it a "middle finger party."

Of course there was music made at some point of the evening (or....early morning rather)

There was "dancing"

Aaron the Photog...

Check it out....

And of course, yelling.

I'm not sure what AC is doing in this picture but it amuses me

And this one too..

Kyle is sooo admiring himself in the mirror here

4th Floor Pralle Substance Free Kids Represent

Me & Meg

Me & Kyle, and Grant lurking in the background trying to steal the spotlight. or kill me!

These boys rule.

not sure?

2006-04-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

I bowl in skirts on Easter Sunday while Grunk Purge sips on his drink.

After, we unsuccessfully try to explore the hills of Brea. Next time: must bring allergy medecine, bolt cutters & appopriate hiking footwear. They really like to protect their trees.

We're Okay...

The Saturday before Easter, I went to Friday's with Aaron and Chelsea. Typical day, you know, balancing things on people hands and making salt and pepper kiss and makeup...

West siiiide.

2006-03-24T20:50:00.000-08:00

Woe unto tax season, for it will bring an early death upon me.

Financially and physically.

I've been really sick the last few weeks so that's why there hasn't been an update. Been getting stress headaches along with teeth problems and such.

Today I went on a cleaning rampage, first of the music school and then of my car. Some of the anxiety I've been experiencing dissappeared, so I decided to start my taxes, because this year even though they are complicated, I decided to do them myself. Wrong decision. Headache instantly back. Music Majors....Above is what you should expect come tax-time if you become a self-employed piano teacher.

Atleast I can sleep well tonight knowing that tomorrow I will spend the day in a clean and organized environment.

2006-03-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

Less is sometimes more.

I have a feeling an extraction is coming soon.

2006-03-14T12:14:00.000-08:00

Fevers cause weird dreams. I dreamt I went into a computer lab and Harvey was there with a guy from my college and they were doing something in the command prompt that looked complicated. They were ignoring me and I was trying to get their attentiong but then when I finally did, they wouldn't let me put my usb drive in the computer. Another guy from my college told me to use another computer but I wanted to use that one and I was fighting with them about it. Jerry was there all of a sudden, he wanted me to do something with the USB drive. I dreamt about Spring Break 2004, and became comfortable but then I dreamt Nate Black had a bunch of thugs after him and was seeking me for help and that all of my friends from school were trying to find me but I didn't want to be found. I woke up and there was intense twilight paranoia shouting DANGER! DANGER! at me, all I could think was that someone was breaking into my apartment and was going to kill me.

Man, I sure hope this medication starts working soon.

2006-03-11T19:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I drove to Solana Beach, I had a 50 dollar gift certificate to the music store down there, and decided to hang out with Harvey after. I stopped at the rest stop on the way there. It was pretty.
I hiked up this hill to gather a peek at the ocean.

There were warnings of rattlesnakes! Yikes!

So I watched my feet.

Later on, I spent the evening praying to the porcelain gods. Stupid stomach. I had to miss a whole day of work too.

2006-03-10T00:05:00.000-08:00

I will share with you with one of my favorite excerpts from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran. Since I'm not really religious and don't really click with the actual Bible, this book has become somewhat of a personal bible for me in the past years. I find a certain solace in it I haven't been able to find elsewhere.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and mediate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Years ago, I was still deeply in love with my high school sweetheart. Of course we broke up, but on Valentine's Day, he sent me virtual flowers, and when I had an emotional reaction, he simply stated "Just because you're not my girl anymore doesn't mean you don't deserve to be happy and have roses."

For some reason that stuck in my mind for a very long time after but I forgot about it until recently.

Tonight is a little over 6 years later and I was reminded of the same feeling. I've been having a tough week emotionally, mentally and physically, and tonight I was reminded that someone can care about me enough to go a little out of their box and make me feel better. Actually, my friend Eric also bought me ice cream at work today too, so I had two people care about me today.

I am so happy to have been blessed with the presence of so many awesome people in my life lately. you know who you are. Thank you for being a part of it.

2006-03-08T12:25:00.000-08:00

I'm praying that you don't burn out or fade away

I like to play with makeup. It doesn't look as good when it streaks down my face...

2006-03-05T20:35:00.000-08:00

I had my own personal Oscar party tonight.

It was surely high class, with Green Tea and my puma pants from high school. Bad mood from Friday has been explained.

Anyway,

I haven't really seen any of the films recieving awards. I want to see Crash though.

Tom Hanks looked so peeved when he walked on stage...it was kind of scary. Maybe it was because they were playing Forrest Gump music in the background?
They kept zooming in on Michelle Williams and her yellow dress with those red red lips.
Reese Witherspoon is such a sweetheart and I want to be just like her someday.

Weekend recap:

Worked on fri, enjoyed dinner of cured pork sammich @ Lee's with Jerry, he went to a show, I sat around, drove up to Santa Monica to see the director's cut of Donnie Darko at a midnight showing which turned out to be a much later than midnight showing. Drove back down to Orange County in the morning and went to work, came home from work and spastically cleaned, Harvey came over and we grabbed dinner in Orange and then went to the art thing in Santa Ana. I can't wait until I have money so I can buy a copy of this:

"Idea" by Jerry Clovis

2006-03-02T23:36:00.000-08:00

Should I take a hint from these? haha....

What is my worst habit: going for guys who don't deserve you
What is my worst habit: being relient on some dude

Tonight I cleaned a lot. And went through all of my files and organized them. That may possibly be an indication of my mental state. Bah.

ANYWAY. . .

Wednesday Eve I attended an "Anti-Hate" Concert at Chapman with some friends. It was pretty good. It was strange being in Memorial Hall. I hadn't been there since graduation last may. I still miss school sometimes.

Ed, Nicole,Me, A/C, another person I dont' know

I just like this picture:

The Parachutes...this is the best picture out of all of mine. I need a new camera.

2006-03-01T14:39:00.000-08:00

I was going to do an awesome photo post of me making myself a romantic pasta dinner for one. But the pictures came out kind of crappy...so here are just a few:

My kitchen

Cue sappy chick rock & champagne glass candles:

Rolling boil is important.

All of the elements to make a "Melon Ball" concoction

It tastes better than it looks..

A little too much OJ. Oops.

Eh....my cooking adventures are never as good when I do them alone. Who wants dinner?

2006-02-27T09:35:00.000-08:00

Somedays I wake up feeling like a train ran over me in my sleep. And I think about it and say to myself..."Self, you didn't drink last night. Why do you feel like you sipped a few too many martinis?"

And then a few hours later it rains.

Stupid barometric pressure!!!

At this very moment, I wish I were this little girl:

What are you trying to find when you run away?

I'm having a very nostalgic day. I want to be in nature. Some fairly old photos, depicting more tasteful subjects than raccoon sex...

Wachusett Reservoir in West Boylston, MA

.

Christine @ Jordan Pond

I always liked pine trees.

Harvey and I were talking the other day about attaching songs to certain situations. How sometimes a song can be ruined by a bad situation, or sometimes you just can't listen to it later because it hurts to think of good memories.

I tend to do a similar thing with places. Some of the prettier places in California have been marred. The "Top of the World" was almost lost but saved by Christine's visit last May. Nothing like best buds.

Fortunately there are more beautiful places to be seen in Massachusetts than in California and a few have not been ruined by dramatic incidents.

Here are a couple of places I have saved only for me. It's unfortunate that they are all in Massachusetts, but perhaps it makes them more special because I only get to visit twice a year? Either way...I'll always have pictures and can pretend I'm there. I give you October 2005.

Mount Wachusett (Princeton, MA)

Old Stone Church (West Boylston, MA)

I miss going places and knowing that there is the possibility of me being the only person within a quarter or even a half mile...

2006-02-26T22:58:00.000-08:00

My new ride:

2-26-06 Went to Hogue Barmichaels to see Kindred Fall play:

Faye bought Aaron a glowing drink...

2006-02-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

Weekend in recap:
Friday Night: Play @ Chapman U (Ed was in it, it was really damn good)... hanging out with Chris, A/C and Aro after...

This is kind of how I felt when I got home...

Saturday Night: Solana Beach. I was going to park here, but the raccoons had already claimed the spot....

2006-02-24T08:17:00.000-08:00

Today I actually woke up hungry for breakfast. Which means I'm slowly getting back on a healthier eating pattern after the disastrous hiatus I went on the last few months. My new year starts now.

2.23.06
gray box of gratification
his picture is the color of carrots
east coast style pizza
he's frantic to talk
teary phone call
wireless lan setup
twins are trouble
the jammed 405
take a number at the post office
sparkly peppermint soap vial
Fur Elise
shell pasta
chromatic scales
pg 16 of Ballade No 1
celebrities on ice
virtual courting
body pillows
puddles
Guitar Hero
burnt imitation pop tarts
orange juice
flatulence
mailbox key
she works hard for the money
resolve
wet ankles
finally in my cocoon

It's a little bit cold out...

I'm curious to see what the warmth of summer will bring. I know there will be changes.

2006-02-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

Bowling Adventures with Grunk & Aro....

The night began innocently enough with a trip to my favorite bowling alley...

Aaron scores a spare!

I decided to dress like Heidi for the evening...

Grant pulls his model pose.

At various points of the night there were ass and crotch pictures. I hate the word crotch.

Ball head?

The only 10 ball in the whole place. I think this is the second time in history I've ever been lucky enough to find it at my lane. Also, I am so buff.

We like strikes.

Grant's shoe tried to defend my purse...

But Aaron won.

I guess he really needed a tampon or something girly.

Always an excellent time with Gamma and Alpha. I scored 123 and 130, which is not bad for not going for a while. I think it's time to get Satan ball. I need to decide exactly which version of his name I want to use. And perhaps join a league this summer. It'll give me something to work for...

2006-02-21T00:04:00.000-08:00

I don't know what this face is all about..

Or why Shirley is sticking her finger in my ear

But we had a blast in West Hollywood on Friday

"OMG! half naked men!"

I look pissed. Eric looks like he just ate a lemon!

Martini of deathhhh

The ladies

I'd have sex with my piano if I could.

This one's for Harvey. Post chocolate martini & a couple hours of dancing

Joleen & Eric....they WOULD make a cute married couple

Bad Dancing Pic #1000

The Club

Goodness Graciouuus great Balls of fire. I wish there were more holiday weekends....it was sooo very nice to sleep in today and to do many fun things this weekend!

2006-02-16T11:55:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling nomadic today. I gotta get up and get out but I have another 10-12 hour day ahead of me. Things are certainly looking up for the next couple of days on the social calendar:

- Tonight after work I will probably be going to an art exhibition with Kyle & Aro
- Friday evening I'm off to a club with Eric & Shirley
- Saturday evening I have a rendezvous with a voo doo doll in San Diego
- Sunday night is open for business...and better be effing fun since I have no work on Monday!

Should I be disturbed that most of my friends are guys? It's time for my gal friends to move their asses out here. Not that I don't love you boys....but damn.

Picture time:(oh shit...Issanna if you are reading this don't kill me...I can't find the red-eye reduced ones. I promise I'll fix it!)

We so didn't have sex on the beach & goldschlager shots....

60's party, Issanna & Beau

Rock, paper, scisssors is the cool thing to do! (Beau, Jon, Harvey)

There was eating of Chicken Nuggets with Ketchup and Nerds on top.

We're just hot. That's all

But we'll beat you up.

WHee!

"OH YEAH!"

Awww. I broke it.

I was inside showing off my keyboarding skills during this?

"Hey! We were supposed to eat it together!" (Beau and Mike)

There must be ass grabbing.

Good times have been had. Aaron & Grunk = we must skate soon again so I have more fun pics to share!

A dream is a wish your heart makes

2006-02-02T21:58:00.000-08:00

So the last few days have been hectic. My boss is out of town so I'm the boss (for 2 months!!!) I'm in the process of *finally* purchasing a "new" car for myself. I really need it. I'll have to post a picture of my current car before I sell it. It's quite funny.

But yeah, by next week I should be riding in much more style than I currently am haha.

In other news....I keep waking up with bruises. The first one showed up about 2 weeks ago on my knee, and it was pretty big. The next one happened over the weekend and it is REALLY big....like atleast 2 inches across and it's purple and has this funny looking white center. Maybe aliens abduct me in my sleep? And then today I woke up with on on my face. I'm starting to get a little freaked out. They dont' hurt, but it's just odd.

Anyway, a picture story of my last few weeks:

I had a blast rollerskating with Aaron and Grant. It was freakin awesome and we need to do it more!

The following weekend, I ventured up to Long Beach with Eric:

It was a goodbye barcrawl night for my friend Mike, who just moved back up to Seattle....:(

To celebrate, I got drunk and took pictures of my feet...

And of myself singing....or something.

The following night was Meg's Birthday @ The Yardhouse. This is her and her boyfriend, David. I don't know what was going on here.

My friend Issanna is also visiting from NY, so she came out to the party with me. Her friend Beau came over after and we stayed up until like 5am. And then I went to work at 10. I rule!!!

Who needs sleep when you're having fun!?

2005-12-23T01:19:00.000-08:00

Well it certainly is strange not going home for Christmas....

What news have I? Not much....just finished up doing a bunch of website stuff.

It's Kevin's birthday today (or I guess we should say yesterday) and I of course felt like I was going to throw up right before we were supposed to go to his parents' house, so I didn't end up going. I've been sitting home all night being bummed since I felt sick. I took some fun pics tho... look at all those presents! They are all from work/teaching haha.I feel loved!

2005-12-09T12:46:00.000-08:00

The Day the [metal] Music Died...

Sometimes when I'm alone

I wonder aloud

If you're watching over me

Some place far abound

I must reverse my life

I can't live in the past

Then set my soul free

Belong to me at last

It's pretty weird to me that it's been a year since the Dimebag passed away. I was never a really huge Pantera fan, and still have never heard Damageplan, but I do remember the first time I heard "Cemetery Gates" and its effect on me.

It was sometime in the winter, because I was laying in bed curled up in a ball on my side under my comforter and I had the radio on to help me fall asleep. It was probably sometime in 7th or 8th grade. I heard this beautiful opening guitar riff and I was instantly captivated. I was not well versed in metal music at the time, but this reeled me in. I remember vaguely turning up the radio a little louder to hear, and then the loud part kicked in. The guitars whaled andI was blown away. The emotion that seemed to wrap around my like the blanket I was under, and everytime I hear it, it's describing a very hidden part of me, something I can't even describe myself. I remember wanting to hear it on the radio all the time but not knowing the name of the song or the band. I found out a few years later, and downloaded it finally.

Since then, Cemetary Gates has been one of my favorite songs of all time, and before his death I was able to attach a few more really great memories with the song. So I am greatly thankful for the existance of Pantera and Dimebag, for writing a song that turns out to mean so much to me.

Does anyone else find it strange that he was killed on the same day that John Lennon was killed, and both were shot by a fan? Irony. It gets me how people become so wrapped up in the lives of famous people....

So while I don't list Pantera as my favorite band ever and was regrettably never able to see them live, the loss of Dimebag Darrell was a big one to the music world. RIP.

In other news, I'm stealing wireless internet from my neighbors and it's nice to be on my couch using my computer.

2005-12-07T09:48:00.000-08:00

Jury Duty. . .

So Monday night I called the recording to find out if I had been called into the courthouse on Tuesday morning, and lo and behold, I had...and I had to be there at 7:30 am (loud groans of agony followed). I will now describe my adventure to you, as I am taking a break from doing the eight billion mailings I must do at work.

I woke up late on Tuesday, around 7:00, and ran around trying to get my stuff together before heading out. I jumped on the 55 and of course it was dead-stopped traffic, and the same when I finally reached the 5 freeway fifteen minutes later. My palm pilot, which serves as a surrogate ipod, died, so I had no music all the way there.

I finally reached the area of the courthouse at 7:25, and realized I had no time for breakfast, and quickly made my way to a parking garage marked "courthouse parking." Little did I know that was my first mistake. Wrong garage!

So I run inside the courthouse....it's now 7:45, hope to find a place to eat somewhere in there, and that I did. The cafeteria was right near the juror assembly room, and I ran in, grabbed a water and a granola bar and then went up to the counter to pay, and of course they didn't take credit cards. I vaguely remember swearing under my breath and then walking away. I'm assuming by now you can tell I'm really not a morning person.

So I go, wait in line to check in, and then ask the lady if there is an ATM machine in the building because by now I'm starving (I didn't eat dinner the night before because I had too much to do). There is one, but it's all the way downstairs on the first floor. I take the escalator down, punch my pin code in on the ATM and then select "quick cash" because for some reason in my half-awake stupor, I thought it would give me the option of picking how much money I could take out. Instead, the machine shot $40 at me and I swore at it, grabbed my money and went back upstairs, where I found a seat near the window where the rising sun reflected off nearby buildings and blinded me.

So they start their little orientation thing, which was very well organized and informative, although repetetive to the pamphlet they had given us earlier. I realized that I had the wrong parking ticket and was pretty ticked, so after orientation I went up to the counter and asked what to do. They handed me a map, and told me to go move my car.

So I went back down the escalator, all the way outside, got my car, went to the gate where I had to OPEN MY DOOR (because my window is taped shut right now since I can't pay for it to be fixed) and hand them my ticket, which I still had to pay $4 for even though I had only been there for about 2.5 hours (apparently 7:35-10 counts as four hours...jerks). So I move my car all the way down the street to the other parking structure, on the fourth floor...they sure make it as far away as possible...and then walked all the way back to the courthouse.

When I got back, I was immediately called in the first pool of jurors so I headed down to a courtroom, where a civil court would be tried. I was also in the first group of jurors to be up in the jury box, where they weed you out. The case had something to do with a website and misuse of addresses.

So the judge asked us a bunch of questions, and then explained that the trial would be two days this week and three next week, which obviously wasn't going to fly with my schedule, especially since they only pay you $15 a day to be there. This was followed by a bunch of people trying to opt out since the schedule of the trial was so quirky. The judge was dissapointed at people for not "clearing" their schedules...some people had business trips the next week. But honestly, how long are you supposed to plan to clear your schedule for jury duty?

For me, fortunately, or maybe unfortuantely, it would have put me in a serious financial disaster to take that much time off work...so I was let go around 11:40. I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn't miss work in the evening, grabbed my things and went home to take a nap since I was exhausted from lack of sleep the previous evening.

Despite having such a bad morning, I was impressed at the efficiency of California's court system, atleast from the juror side. They do have things organzied pretty well, and the room you have to wait in is pretty nice. The only major inconvenience is scheduling, they expect you to just drop everything....and for some of us, that's just not possible.

<3

2005-12-05T21:34:00.000-08:00

I have my own little X-mas Tree! It's so cute, isn't it? I'm trying really hard to get into the holiday spirit this year. I even made some ornaments for the tree.

I also really really want to go ice skating!!

2005-12-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

My 2 Cents

So the other day I was at 7-11 grabbing some nourishment (aka a Powerbar and a diet coke) and a scratch ticket before heading to teach a piano lesson in Fountain Valley. I went up to the counter and the order came up to 3.98.

The cashier was kind of preoccupied with some of those math puzzles that are popular these days...so she wasn't really paying attention, but she looked up when I offered up 4 crisp new dollar bills. After taking my money, she closed her change drawer and looked back down and continued to work on the puzzles.

I stood there awkwardly for a moment, and then she realized I was still there and said ,"What?"

"Um....can I have my change? I gave you 4 dollars...so you owe me two cents." I mumbled...feeling ashamed that I actually was asking for 2 cents. I never really have been one to stand up for myself unless I get really angry. Obviously this wasn't a big matter, so I only spoke up because of the principle of the matter.

She gave me an annoyed look and said, "Most people don't wait for their change."

I was dumbfounded. I didn't really know what to say. Maybe it's just because I'm super money conscious lately because I have none, or because the normal order of this type of transaction was screwed up, but I was completely confused.

I mean, you come in, buy your crap, they hand you your change and you say "thank you" and walk out. It makes sense....there's no reason to change it. When I worked at CVS, it became automatic. Every transaction was the same (probably why I detested working front store but loved working in the photo lab). It was robotic. It didn't matter what the amount was. If they walked away, you shrugged your shoulders and put the pennies in the penny jar or maybe flicked them at the person ringing next to you to be annoying and pass the time better, but you never withheld anyone's change!

So basically it ended with taking my change, saying "Yeah, well I just graduated from college so I guess every penny counts. Heh heh. Have a nice day," and walking out. Which was a far diversion from what I was really feeling on the inside.

Speaking of that phrase..."I just graduated from college." I use that to get out of all sorts of things now. I always feel bad when I can't donate money to those people outside of stores for Hurricane Katrina or Salvation Army and stuff, so I have to explain why. It's not like it really makes a difference why, but I feel the need to redeem myself because I would LIKE to donate but just can't. Maybe my frequent thrift store shopping is an equal trade for donating money.

Anyway.....cheers!